Two times in just as many weeks, some idiot is trying to sue large companies for their own “dumb-ass-ness”. Welcome to the insane society we live in where the lawyers that take the cases are stupider than the stupid people who file the suits. Where the freak are we living? It’s like we are on a different planet, or in Oppositeville or something.
Case # 1: Some huge, rediculously fat man (and he would have to be to file this suit, it’s not that I am poking at overweight folks), has filed suit against White Castle because their dining area tables and chairs are not large enough to fit him.
Now, and listen up Michelle Obama, it is not the fault of White Castle that this guy eats too much White Castle. It is not the fault of White Castle that he has absolutely no control over himself. Some people are just stupid! A company should not be threatened with further regulation, nor should they be threatened with law suits because some individuals refuse to take care of themselves properly. I like a good 99 cent heart attack in a sack myself every now and again, but c’mon, I do not go out every day or even as often as once a week to get one, why? Because I have common sense and control over myself. People who do not, cannot just go willy nilly and sue a company. Politicians wives cannot go and call for further regulation of restaurants either, as this just eggs on the fat guy to think its ok to sue a company because of his gluttonous ways.
What the lawyer should say is; “sorry, I can’t take this case on the basis of: why don’t you just stop eating White Castle and all the other ass-expanding stuff you shovel down your esophagus. It seems to me that would solve this whole ugly mess. I cannot help you sue an innocent company who did not tie you down and feed you and feed you and feed you until your beach ball shape popped right out of the booth”.
Case # 2: A woman has announced that she is filing suit against a chewing gum manufacturer because she has dentures and the gum became stuck and entangled in her dentures. Shouldn’t it be enough to just admit you are stupid enough to chew gum with dentures when it is reccomended by the dentist who did the work and by the chewing gum company that you do not do so? At any rate, according to the report I heard on the local country music station during a news break, she is filing suit not because of ruined dentures, but because of the depression suffered for 10 minutes. Yes, thats right, she is suing because of a 10 minute depression she fell into as a result of the horror of getting chewing gum all over her dentures. I ask again, where the freak are we living? What more absurd things can possibly come about? I am afraid to find out.
